Today is the second day of my new job. There is just something about making coffee that i think is so awesome. This view will probably change soon.
For now I am loving both jobs i am employed as; and swimming instructor, a cool barrista, and unofficially, a zinester.
In a way i kinda of can't wait for school to start. Because then i will be busy again, and time will move faster, and then i will be closer to getting out of phoenix! im so ready to leave this place, start my own life, become the person who i am meant to be.
i quit smoking! which i feel like is something everyone says but never does. I am doing it, i really want to, every part of me wants to. It is just so hard since everyone i hang out with smokes. but im stroger than that, watch me.
i worked a bit on my zine. I kinda hate break because i feel as though there is so much time that i waste, when im busy i get tons of shit done. When i am on break i dont do shit
things i need to do:
-Apply for NAU
-Overseas programs for the summmer
I INTEND... that i am feeling motivated to do a bunch of things this week, aka everything on my list. That i write many great things, and that jenna gets work off so that we are able to go to flagstaff.
i am currently in need/want of other creative people in my life. i would like to know where these people go, so i can meet them.
I have found emotion more than necessary in my everyday struggle to be an artist.
My name is chloe hodson, and i write a zine called electricity. i have been writing it for a few years now, so maybe you have seen me before.
anyways, being busy and all i have had some trouble finding time to sell and promote the last few issues of my zine (Electricity vol.2 issues #1,2, & 3)
i was wondering if anyone had a distro i could submit to, or some ideas on how to promote with out it being so time consuming.
Thanks so much!
my email is: firstname.lastname@example.org
if you have any questions!
My days have become a little too routine for my liking.
school, work, school, work.
im loosing my motivation in school.
i need to get away. im planning on visiting flagstaff soon, and i hope it works out and i get to.
i know a year seems like a long time, but its still all i can seem to think about. im moving to flagstaff, im moving to flagstaff, im starting my life. i have never felt soo right about something in my entire life. i am moving and it is going to be amazing.
i have never had a religion. i grew up not being told what to think. which was amazing. but this isnt to say that i haven't tried the whole church thing out. i tried to go a couple times, and the entire time i was there i felt incredibly uncomfortable. like there was an elephant in the room. and all i could think was, if these people knew i didn't believe in god, they would hate me. i have many feelings about religion. but i have sometimes wanted something to so strongly believe it. But i finally have. Intenders is my religion. I make intentions all the time, and it sometimes scares me of how often my intentions manifest.
Last night for example. At my meeting on thursday i intended to have a very eventful but fun weekend. Well last night was just that. First the show i was going to go to was sold out, carl locked his keys in his car, and 50 other things. but i look back on it, and even though lots of not so great things happened, i still had a really great time. When carl locked his keys in his car, i made the intention he would be able to open to door quickly with the coat hanger, and guess what, in less than a minute he did. I feel powerful. i sound crazy, but this feels like magic.
i intended i am doing all of my homework, laundry, and zine stuff done tomorrow!
. . Yet I believe that in our brokeness, we are still able to reach out and help another. . .
i love this boy with all my heart. he is awkward, weird, and sometimes embarrasses me. but this boy has a heart like no one i have ever met. he is so caring, and he still can see the good in people. which touches my heart. but tonight i had a long talk with him, and i wish he could just understand somethings, that i had to learn the hard way and i fear he will too. he is still stuck in the state of mind where he is hanging out with people to be cool, well guess what, the cool people arn't always the good friends. he gives his heart to people who dont deserve it, he does more than anyone could ever ask from him and he gets nothing in return. i worry about carl, i don't like to see him letting people walk all over him. i know this because at one point in time this was me. i used to care so much about people who just ended up hurting me incredibly bad. i fear this kind of pain is in his future, and honestly its hard to watch, he is a good person, but life isnt fair, and people are not kind. i wish he could see that, and shut them out before they totally crush his spirit, because they will. i guess it is just something you don't understand until you learn it for yourself. i try to tell him, but he doesn't get it, he doesn't want to see things how they really are. but i dont blame him, who wants to think their best friend is just using them and really doesnt care about them. these are words no one ever wants to hear. carl has some hard lessons to learn in his future.
"i feel like i'm not friends with anyone i used to be"
"its called growing up, people change"
"i told myself i would never grow up"
"you cant stop the inevitable"
i recently joined a group called the intenders. it is basically is a group that meets once every two weeks. It starts off with closing your eyes while a group member tells you to invision something, its something different everytime but usually includes going to a spot in nature, it is to help you clear your mind, and take you to a place outside of your normal life, to give you a place of happiness and positive energy, and to help you escape from the bad. next you share about manifested intentions, or about things going on in your life. then you share you intentions, which includes, what you are thankful for, your intentions, and by finishing the sentance "I see a world where..." next someone shares a prepared closing, and everyone discusses it and finally we do toning which has to do with aligning your chi.
i really enjoy going every time. the group is all people who are at least my moms age or older. which at first i was unsure about, but it has turned out to be a positive thing. its helpful and really mind opening to share things with people who have experienced much more of life than i have. on top of that, everyone in the group loves me. it is really comforting having people on your side.
positive thinking is something i have always believed in. i truly believe that anything is possible, if you believe in it enough.